I grew up in Holland, Michigan. I attended Holland High School. I got good grades, but always needed the 10 percent class-participation points to help my GPA. For three straight years, the smartest person in my high school went on to pre-med at the University of Michigan. Everyone else was pretty much split between Grand Valley State University, Hope College and Michigan State University coming in a distant third. I went to Hope College, a liberal arts college in my hometown.
Did I have a good experience? Sure. Were there things I would have changed if I could go back? Absolutely. Would I have been fine at another school? Most likely. However, the whole college-admissions process just wasn’t a thing. I had never heard of ED1 until I moved to Bronxville. And truth be told, I think I graduated high school thinking there were about three or four professions out there for me — doctor, lawyer, teacher and banker. My brothers and I joke that, if it weren’t for tenure, the guidance counselor at our high school should really have been fired.
Now, we are blessed with amazing guidance counselors in Bronxville, but I wonder whether the pressure cooker of it all is worth it in the long run. Please hear me out: I am not, in any way, shape or form, minimizing the importance of this decision or the routine. However, from an outsider looking in, do you think we all need to reexamine this process and the toll it is taking on our young people? Is all of the stress and anxiety truly worth it?
Anecdotally, our youth minister at The Reformed Church, Christian Verwys, is grateful to be in a position to minister to and care for our high school students. He listens, prays, cries and celebrates with them. He would suggest that the pressure is only increasing — and starting younger and younger.
Maybe a question to ask ourselves is: What is the goal? What is the end goal of it all? If it’s Ivy League–educated kids, then there you go. I might suggest a different — not necessarily mutually exclusive — goal. What if the goal were to graduate physically, emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually healthy young people? How might that change the way we spend our resources of time, talent and treasure?
Honestly, you might think I’m all wet on this. That’s fine. I realize there’s a risk in vulnerability. But I do know, from anxiety-riddled high school seniors to teary-eyed parents who have sat in my office in the last few months, that these pressures and stressors are real. And they take their toll — on kids, on families and on a community.
Drop me a line if you’d like to chat about it. Maybe there’s a community conversation that needs to happen.
