Many of the clients I work with have been blessed. Through careful planning, saving, and investing, they have accumulated more wealth than they will likely spend in their lifetimes.
While many people create estate plans to ensure their legacy wishes are fulfilled, there are other important aspects of end-of-life planning that are often overlooked.
I’ve seen this happen too often: adult children, suddenly faced with decisions about living arrangements and financial affairs for aging parents, become overwhelmed and divided. In the midst of emotional stress and uncertainty, families can fall into conflict—sometimes leading to resentment or lasting estrangement. This is rarely what parents would want for their children.
The real tragedy is that it doesn’t have to be this way.
Most people want their children to inherit a legacy that is a blessing, not a burden. They don’t intend to leave deeply personal decisions—such as assisted living or end-of-life care—entirely in their children’s hands, where those choices must be made with anguish, guilt, and doubt.
My grandmother was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in the early 1990s. While treatments have advanced significantly since then; at that time, a Parkinson’s diagnosis almost certainly meant increasing medical needs and daily assistance.
Because my grandparents had planned ahead, they chose to move into assisted living before a crisis forced the decision. Over the years, people facing similar situations have asked me, How did your family decide—and manage—to move your grandparents into assisted living?
The answer is simple: my grandparents made the decision themselves.
They understood that, alongside all the other gifts they gave their family, sparing their children from this painful choice was an act of love. Too often, aging arrives unexpectedly—either through a sudden health crisis, or through years of good health that make planning feel unnecessary.
In financial planning, we sometimes have to confront uncomfortable subjects. Planning for your own decline—or death—can be one of them. Yet there may come a time when you are no longer able to make major decisions for yourself.
During the financial planning process, we not only address estate documents and funding these care needs, but we also talk about communicating with your family. As an act of love, don’t shy away from planning—or at least from making your wishes clearly and unequivocally known while you are able.
It may be one of the greatest gifts you give your family.
