Memory Care: How Do You Know If This Is Normal Aging, Or If This Is Something More Serious?

With so many people living longer than ever before, questions about what’s “normal” and what requires support are increasingly common.

The path from independent living to looking for expert memory care isn’t usually a sudden occurrence that pops up overnight. Rather, it’s typically a gradual process where families find themselves asking, “Is this normal aging, or is this something more serious?”

Sometimes it takes asking those questions over time to discover how much support might be needed, and
when. What is always true though, is that it’s much less stressful to do research and make these decisions when you’re calm and well-prepared than when you’re in a crisis situation. Often, it is useful to visit Senior Living communities, Dementia Support Groups, and to visit with other families in different stages of your family’s same journey.

We call it “Looking for Plan B”.

Some of our loved ones with Dementia or Alzheimer’s may never need to leave their homes; but many will. For that reason, checking some Memory Care communities out now, having a couple in mind you are comfortable with, should the need arise, is a lot easier than having to make that decision when a hospital
tells you Mom or Dad can’t go home after discharge.

At some stage, people with Alzheimer’s, Dementia, Parkinson’s, etc., may need round-the-clock care. Memory care could be the best, safest, and least stressful option for both them and their caregivers. But a lot of times those specialized communities have wait lists, so it’s important to reach out to some to find out how to navigate those and to be prepared for when the time comes.

In general, sometimes folks with some amount of confusion can live successfully in Assisted Living. There, they can get the cueing they need to manage their days, and be supported physically and enjoy a beautiful social life.

Memory Care, on the other hand, usually becomes the best solution when safety concerns outweigh staying at home.

Memory Care communities offer extra safety precautions, like secured doors. They may also use visual cues, like pictures or signs, to help residents maintain as much of their independence as possible. The key is recognizing the warning signs early enough to plan a thoughtful transition.

Here are some of the important signals that should have you considering whether it might be time for Memory Care:

1. Not recognizing familiar places: frequently becoming confused, or lost, in places they’ve known for years such as their own neighborhood, favorite places, or even their own home.

2. Errors with medication management: missing doses regularly, or even taking too much.

3. Becoming unsafe in their home: leaving the stove on, the faucet running for hours, expired food in the refrigerator, trips and falls, or wandering off.

4. Decline in personal hygiene: wearing the same clothes repeatedly, forgetting to bathe.

5. Mood or Personality Changes: unusual aggression or combativeness, paranoia, accusations against family members, or overall withdrawal from relating to others.

6. Significant weight loss: Dehydration or malnutrition resulting from skipped meals.

7. Family and/or Caregiver Stress or Burnout: caregiver feeling overwhelmed, unsafe, or depressed from managing the needs of their loved one.

For most families navigating any or all of these, the inclination is to keep their loved ones home for as long as possible. Upon our touring our community, it is not uncommon to hear, “I want to keep Mom at home until she doesn’t recognize me anymore”, or “I am going to care for Dad at home until I physically just can’t do it any
longer”. That is understandable dedication and loyalty. If I could give you one piece of unsolicited advice, it would be this…

Consider that navigating a world that is confusing can be stressful, and even scary, for our family members dealing with these Memory Care diagnoses. Sometimes, it’s easier for them to make the transition to community living while they are still cognizant enough to get to know us. It is easier to establish new routines, and to learn to trust that we’re going to consistently help them, while they still have the mental wherewithal to
remember some things, and to recognize our faces, etc.

Waiting until our loved ones are further down that continuum, where doing that is tougher, can be a harder transition later on.

There is no right time. No right answer. Every Memory Care experience is unique, without a cookie-cutter perfect solution or delineated timeline of what to do when.

It is our hope that providing this entry level view of Memory Care will be useful, give food for thought, and help demystify it a bit. When you’re ready, we’d love to host your family for lunch, show you around, let you see that “home” can be cozy, loving, and engaging.

There is still plenty of living left to do in Memory Care communities, and plenty of new memories yet to be made.