Prenups: A Red Flag or an Unconventional Love Note?
Prenuptial agreements are becoming more common, especially among Millennials and Gen Z couples. Still, not everyone has embraced them; for many, the idea of their future spouse asking for a prenup feels like a red flag: a sign that they have questionable motives or that they aren’t sure the marriage will last.
But the truth is that a prenup can be both a practical planning document and an unconventional love note—a way of saying, “I love you so much that I promise to treat you fairly, no matter what the future brings.”
Most people who get divorced never would’ve imagined it as a possibility when they walked down the aisle, but just because you love your partner now doesn’t mean every future version of you will love every future version of them. And marriage, romantic as it is, is ultimately a financial and legal arrangement before anything else. Ignoring that reality does not make it disappear—it simply leaves your future up to chance.
Think of a prenup like car insurance: you don’t get it because you expect to crash your car—you do it because you know an accident is possible, and because you can’t control everything that happens on the road. In the same way, a prenup prepares you for circumstances you hope never to face. Wouldn’t it be so much better to have it and not need it, than find yourself wishing you’d drafted one when it’s too late?
Yet labeling a prenup as just a practicality sells it far short.
Drafting a prenuptial agreement requires you to look beyond the altar and talk honestly about what you want for your shared future, encouraging you to dream big, imagine different possibilities, and have meaningful conversations about things you may not otherwise have even thought of, like how you will handle finances, how you intend to support aging loved ones, and what values you want to raise your children with. These conversations are deeply personal, and confronting topics like these can bring you and your partner closer.
A well-crafted prenuptial agreement is not about one person “winning.” Rather, it benefits and protects both partners. It requires compromise and asks each of you to consider not just your own interests, but your partner’s well-being too—now and in the future.
Ultimately, whether or not you draft a prenup, you have one. When you say I do, you are agreeing to be bound by your state’s default laws concerning asset division, support, and child custody should you get divorced—unless you have an agreement that says otherwise. A prenup simply allows you to make those decisions yourselves, rather than leaving them to the law.
For many couples, that freedom—to plan thoughtfully, communicate openly, and care for each other intentionally—is the most romantic promise of all.
