Funerals can sometimes be uncomfortable to attend. Perhaps you’re not sure whether to wear a suit and break out your nice new jacket. Or, you might be on your way to work, and you only have time to stop by the funeral to pay your respects. No matter what the situation, what’s important is your presence there.
There’s a lot of preparation to be made to make sure everything goes as planned on the day of a funeral. Each funeral is different because every person is different, so each funeral we plan is unique. Some details are all the same: meeting with the deceased’s family, collecting permits, and filing death certificates. Sometimes we’re organizing a large funeral, arranging and transporting 15 flowers, coordinating a police procession, and publishing the obituary in several newspapers to notify as many people as possible. Other times, we’re helping plan a small graveside service at the cemetery only.
We plan, prepare, and do everything we can to make sure the experience of losing a loved one goes as smoothly as possible. But the most important piece is you, the people, coming together and reuniting with friends or family you may not have seen in a while to remember a life well lived. Being there and showing love to those going through the toughest times is an immeasurable act of kindness.
Finding comforting words can be difficult. If you are struggling with what to say, the best thing to share is often a special memory of the deceased. Avoid common phrases like Everything happens for a reason or comparing their grief to your own experiences. Often, the best thing to do is be there and listen. The value of your presence during the tough times speaks more than words ever can.
No matter the circumstances, there is one constant: Being there for friends and family who have experienced a loss cannot be overstated.
