Sometimes we need to feel meaningful connection with others, and… Sometimes we need to have a little time and space on our own. Both can be tough to do for many reasons. Sometimes we feel shame or guilt taking time for ourselves, but we can also feel the same way when reaching out to ask someone to connect or meet up.
Here are a few ways to reflect, check in with yourself and see what you might need.
Try to remember the most recent time that you:
- Felt hopeful, positive energy or felt confident in yourself, were you with someone or alone?
- Really enjoyed your time with someone and didn’t feel drained afterwards? Try to list five things that impacted you most about that specific connection (relationship)?
- Declined or cancelled attending a social invite, event or gathering and didn’t feel shame or guilt? Do you notice often feeling obligated and attend anyway or do you notice cancelling a lot?
- Planned or took time away from work or volunteering without feeling shame or guilt? Or worry about being “in trouble” or lazy?
- Felt respected and trusted when telling family/friends/connections you needed some time alone to recharge?
- Really felt delighted enjoying time alone and didn’t feel shame, guilt or that you were selfish? Try to list five things that you did alone that had a positive and rejuvenating impact?
- Laughed out loud at the mere thought of having any positive, rejuvenating time alone to yourself?
How did your check in go? Were any of these questions difficult to answer? If so, consider challenging yourself to reach out to a trusted connection and ask their perspective on your efforts to balance your time engaging and socializing.
If you feel a bit more curious, challenge yourself in the next two weeks to slightly adjust your balance of time and see what happens!
May you find your personal ratio to feel deeply meaningful and have a confident connection with yourself alone. May you be deliberate in cultivating sheer delight when connecting with others.
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