DO I KNOW MY SCHEDULE?
This query might sound vague, but a divorce lawyer’s work often involves knowing the client’s life on a day‑to‑day basis. How is your life structured? Do you have school‑aged children, and if so, what are their schedules for class and extracurricular activities? How do you and your spouse share responsibilities? Are you expecting changes soon? Has your spouse changed work hours to care for a loved one? Do you own a family business, and if so, are you required to work certain days to perform duties? Have you moved during the last year?
Almost all separations necessitate changes to daily lives. Considering these questions can be helpful in identifying and preparing for the coming changes.
DOES MY PERSONALITY FIT WITH THE ATTORNEY’S AND AM I READY TO BE HONEST?
If intuition says the connection is off with an attorney, trust yourself. There may be other attorneys better suited to your personality and needs.
Additionally, you should feel prepared to be honest in answering the attorney’s questions. You won’t need to confess everything you’ve ever done wrong in life, but the lawyer will need you to be forthcoming with sometimes uncomfortable topics. Did you lose your temper with your spouse at a school event? Did you threaten to take everything from your spouse? We’re all human. Mistakes are a part of life and can be dealt with, but better to disclose them at the outset so your lawyer can prepare for when they come up. (And they almost always do.)
Also, be prepared for the lawyer to call you out or suggest changes you can make to avoid similar mistakes in the future. You may think, “Wait, I’m paying $450 an hour to be told I’m wrong?” Yes. While it might feel like an expensive dose of medicine, the lawyer is looking out for you. As attorneys, we do our clients a disservice if we don’t help them steer clear of potential pitfalls.
WHAT IS MY BUDGET FOR A DIVORCE?
Most people want to know the cost for a divorce, but it’s hard to predict accurately. The process is often dynamic, and unexpected events often increase the cost. A contentious spouse, complex factual and/or legal issues, and attending mediation or a trial will cost more. Most divorce lawyers bill hourly and require initial retainer deposits for anticipated lawyer time spent and costs incurred on your behalf. (E.g., such as filing and process server fees, subpoena costs, etc.) Considering the time a lawyer might spend on your case while billing $500 an hour, means $5,000 is 10 hours of work. After the first meeting, you will better understand what an hour of the lawyer’s time looks like. It adds up quickly, and once the lawyer is your attorney of record with the court, they have ethical obligations to act on your behalf. Below are ways to help keep lawyer fees down.
- Research information from reliable sources yourself.
- Prepare for meetings and bring notes.
- Promptly provide all requested documentation.
- Stay open to compromise.
- Suppress any urges to argue with your attorney. If your doctor said your sugar levels tested high, would you argue with them? Divorce attorneys are often just conveying a message about the state of the law. Long discussions about opinions on the law’s fairness isn’t the best use of time and money. Some messages can feel like a hard pill to swallow, but the process will be quicker, smoother and cheaper, if you can just get it down.
This article is not legal advice. Contact an attorney regarding your circumstances.
The Law Office of Amy E. Spiering specializes in divorce and family law-related matters.
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