It is important to have a healthy sense of self because it can create a wonderful sense of energy that can help you increase your motivation, be open to more opportunities, and face challenges more easily. A healthy sense of self can assist in your behavior aligning with your core values.
Many people suffer from shame that can eat away at a healthy sense of self. Shame is a painful feeling of distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. The emotion of shame can attack the core being of who you believe you are. It can create a negative belief system that you are fundamentally flawed or not enough. Unfortunately, when shame becomes chronic, it is not uncommon for depression, anxiety, hyper-sensitivity, anger, and social withdrawal to develop.
To develop a healthy sense of self, use your emotions and negative behaviors as information, because understanding your emotions would more likely assist you in making better decisions, decrease shameful behaviors, and increase self-esteem. Your goal should be awareness, not perfection. Perfection as an expectation will decrease your self-esteem because it is not realistic. Accept the good, bad, and the ugly and become curious about your feelings and reactions. Humility, honesty, harvesting the good in you, humor, and healing by acceptance can be a healthy way in changing behaviors that you don’t like about yourself.
- Humility is shared by humanity. It can decrease shame, because we know that no one is perfect. Accepting that you make mistakes disintegrates shame and keeps your self-respect intact.
- Honesty will help you stay out of denial and move to a better you. Denial can be an enemy when it persists and prevents you from exploring the things you want to improve. Denial can stop you from fully recognizing the unwanted actions or reactions. A truthful self-examination encourages a correct perspective and can motivate you to change for the better. Seeing your growth increases self-esteem.
- Harvest the goodness within you. There is nothing wrong in recognizing your positive characteristics. So, reflect on your strengths. Explore what you do well, and what situations you feel most confident in; look back for past accomplishments, small ones and big ones.
- Humor can destroy the feeling of shame. The psychological effect of humor can be a coping mechanism that produces a mental recalibration when the situation is taken more lightly and buffers the psychological harmful impact. Laughing at yourself and allowing others to laugh with you releases hormones such as serotonin, endorphins, and dopamine that reduce painful memories and enhance mood.
- Healing by acceptance creates a space for change to occur. The acceptance can soften internal conflict and become the foundation of peace. Practice compassion as you reinforce self-acceptance through nonjudgmental understanding.
Healing is a process, so be patient and have compassion for yourself, and remember small changes become greater changes.
To develop a healthy sense of self and move away from shame, confront your humanity; be true to yourself on who you are and unlikable actions; use humor to lighten the heaviness of not being perfect; harvest the good in you and allow yourself to heal through acceptance that can bring acknowledgement that you need to change.
If you can’t work through the shame, seek help. Call Community Care Counseling at 770-875-2595. Please dial 988 if you are suicidal.
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