Fall is usually my favorite season (until spring arrives, and then I flip-flop!). But when that crisp air sets in, kids head back to school, and the leaves begin to drop, I’m always reminded of nature’s subtle cue: it’s time to shed what I no longer need. Clearing out the old naturally creates space for what is actually useful, grounding, and growth-enhancing.
I mean this literally—I’m currently tackling the closets and junk drawers in my home and office, which always leaves me feeling lighter and more organized. I also mean this psychologically.
We’ve all heard the advice to “let it go.” But what does that actually mean? Forgive and forget? Pretend a painful relationship never existed? Stop grieving a loss? Many of those expectations feel impossible. From a therapeutic perspective, holding onto thoughts and feelings that others urge us to drop is often a natural survival mechanism—a way to shield ourselves from unbearable pain. Only you can decide when you’re ready to forgive (which doesn’t mean forgetting), shift your focus, or allow yourself to grieve fully.
When you feel stuck, try asking yourself one key question: “How is holding onto this thought, resentment, or pattern helping me right now?”
If your honest answer is “it’s not,” it may be time to start shedding it. Here is how to begin:
Feel what you’ve been avoiding: Give yourself permission to feel the underlying anger, loneliness, or sadness.
Don’t do it alone: If processing it feels overwhelming, invite a trusted friend or professional to simply sit with you and offer a grounding presence.
Express it outwardly: Journaling, art, or symbolic acts—like writing a letter and burning or shredding it—can help externalize heavy emotions.
Use physical movement: Movement is a powerful way to release stored tension. Whether it is running, dancing, or walking in nature, moving your body helps release what you are holding emotionally and physically.
When we loosen our grip on past pain and allow it to move through us, space opens for healing and new meaning. The best part? You get to intentionally choose what fills that new space, like redecorating a freshly painted room.
As the weather cools, use this season to reflect on what serves your well-being and what you can safely let go of. Take a lesson from the autumn trees: shed what no longer serves you to make room for your next season of growth.
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