Anxiety in Children: How to Help Them Cope

We all know what it looks and feels like from our adult perspective, but when we are in a role of helping children process and successfully manage it, it can be overwhelming.

What we do know about anxiety is that it is a normal emotion that we all feel.

A variety of factors can cause anxiety:

Biological. Some types of anxiety are caused by chemical imbalances and may be hereditary.

Environmental. Some anxiety is caused by our environment and the experiences we have had.

Situational. This occurs when anxiety is triggered by a specific current life event.

Anxiety is not necessarily a negative emotional response, but how do we know when a child may be in need of help?

Fight or Flight Response

When experiencing something that we might perceive as threatening to us, our bodies will experience a “fight or flight” response. This helps us to know when to get out of a situation versus when to stay and work through it.

In children, many of them have not developed the coping mechanisms to know when to try to handle it on their own or remove themselves from the situation.

This can cause some emotional responses for the child, as well as their caregivers.

This may look like:

• tantrums
• becoming overly clingy
• concentration issues
• sleep issues
• anger and acting out (fighting, yelling, power struggles)
• physical symptoms (headaches, stomach aches, fatigue)

How to Support a Child When They Are Anxious

Many times, as caregivers, we can help a child work through these responses to their anxiety.

We can remind them that anxiety is a normal emotion, and we can teach them coping skills that they can use as they get older, and help them to develop ways to manage their emotions.

Some things to try when a child is displaying symptoms of anxiety:

• Help them to label their anxiety. In the moment they are experiencing it, have them identify it and talk about what it feels like emotionally and physically.
• Use active listening so that your child knows that they have someone they can talk to to help process their feelings.
• Normalize anxiety. Model how to identify your feelings and talk to them about times you feel anxious and some ways that you handle it.
• Model the use of calming behaviors yourself for them to be able to see and use.
• Help them develop coping skills- focus on breathing, counting, positive self-talk, and talking about their feelings to others.
• Make them feel safe; however, allow them space to think for themselves, which helps them to build confidence, resiliency, and feel competent.
• Maintaining a routine helps children to feel safe and know what to expect, but also when things do change, modeling flexibility and how to respond appropriately.
• Help them to face their fears/triggers. Guide them to develop steps to work on facing things that might be hard for them. Focus on effort and giving encouragement.

When to Seek Help

How do you know when a child has reached a point that they (and you) may need some extra support and help in managing their anxiety?

If the severity and length of time that a child is experiencing anxiety interferes with day-to-day tasks, become persistent, they avoid activities, or won’t participate in needed life events (going to school, visiting the doctor, having to be cared for by others), it might be time to look for professional help.

One of the first steps you can take is to talk with your primary health care provider. If you have a family doctor who knows your child well, this is a good place to start.

They can make recommendations for further treatment if needed.

If your child shares any thoughts of self-harm, you should take them to the emergency room to seek an evaluation through the crisis center.

The Reality

The reality is, as a caregiver, you know your child best.

Through validating their feelings, modeling healthy responses to anxiety, keeping routines, challenging them to think for themselves, and giving them a safe space to work through their emotions, you will give your child the skills they need to handle most of what life may present to them.

Help is available if needed; do not hesitate to seek it for you or your child.