As we enter the month of May we are confronted by the most glorious day of the year…Mother’s Day…! This day brings simple pleasures like staying in bed- while you hear your partner screaming at the children and then acting excited as they stumble into your bedroom with burnt toast, cold coffee and some crumpled up pieces of artwork. Did that sound cynical? If so, this article is for you.
Mother’s Day brings with it many complex feelings including joy, obligation and overwhelmedness. Whether you’re a mom or the cool fun auntie, we women can feel pressure to show up for others while putting our own needs aside.
How about if we take this Mother’s Day celebration as an opportunity to learn how to put ourselves first. What does that look like, you ask?
1-Let’s start with the reframe: putting yourself first is not being “selfish”. Along with accepting the flowers, chocolates and cards, one more important thing you can accept is permission. Giving yourself permission to take up space in your life and learn to ask for what you need. This means giving yourself permission to rest before you collapse at the end of the day. Permission to book a ladies’ night during the week, or permission to hire that housecleaner, food delivery service or babysitter. Why do we give ourselves so much guilt and shame over this?
2- Many women have been operating under the unspoken rule, “I’ll take care of myself when everything is done” But the work is never done. Becoming the woman you want to become means learning to find your voice, defining what you want and don’t want. Finding your “no” is just as important as finding your “yes.” By finding your “no” you let go of things that no longer serve you, and can place your attention on the “yesses” in your life. Think of it as an energy saver.
3-Enter the master manifester. It’s a thing — trust me. Manifesting is the process of aligning your internal world, which are your thoughts, beliefs, and expectations, with your external behaviors, which are your actions and decisions. When you become clear about what you want and who you are, your brain will begin to filter for opportunities that align with those beliefs.
For example, if you believe you are not worthy, you will unconsciously act in ways that maintain that belief. Conversely, if you believe you are worthy of love, kindness, respect, you will then begin to attract people/experiences who prove that to be true.
Effective manifesting involves identifying and reshaping these internal narratives so they are congruent with your desired life direction. And lastly, manifestation requires action that is consistent with your intentions. When you begin to believe that good things are possible and you are deserving, you will begin to act in these ways and then begin to see positive changes in your external environment.
So, whether you are sleeping in, planning a brunch, or avoiding people all together, may you offer yourself the same love and tenderness that you afford those around you. Consider this Mother’s Day the most meaningful thing you can manifest isn’t slapping a smile on your face, or planning a fun day for others, but manifesting a life that you love, a life that you actively participate in, a life that is truly yours.
XO-Cherie
Learn more about Nassi Counseling at nassicounseling.com.
