Parents are one of the most powerful forces in shaping how children understand and respond to mental health. Our children are exposed early to attitudes about mental health through social media, friendships, family, and our community. The conversations you have today can lay the groundwork for mentally healthy kids.
Starting the Conversation
It is valuable to be curious about ourselves as parents before we have conversations with our children about mental health. When we explore our beliefs about emotions and mental health without judgment, it can help direct us in creating an authentic space for emotional conversations with our kids. Openly discussing mental health topics, being curious about their emotions, and showing them how you manage your own stress are all important for them to observe.
Dr. Amen and Dr. Fay (2024), in Raising Mentally Strong Kids, teach that when kids know we value their feelings, it improves their sense of self-worth and emotional health. They also emphasize that it’s important to be a good listener and to discuss what children feel before parents share what they think.
A child’s expression of emotions can often catch us off guard as parents. RonaDee Thornock, LMSW, a child therapist, states, “A natural reaction for parents is to become defensive. Try to set defensiveness aside and just listen. Kids expressing emotions isn’t defiance.”
When children are overwhelmed and express big emotions over homework or chores, it is an opportunity to express support and empathy. Holly Christensen, LCSW, a therapist, states, “Allow yourself to be curious about your child’s experience. Their behaviors are signals of distress, not a problem to be fixed.” One helpful phrase when your child seems overwhelmed is: “It seems that you are feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. Would you like to talk about what’s bothering you?” Allowing space for conversations about emotions also gives you the opportunity to offer support, connection, and love.
Dr. Steve Esplin, PMHNP, a psychiatric medication provider, states, “Many kids and teens I’ve spoken to about mental health have said, ‘In my family we don’t really talk about mental health.’ I believe a discussion about mental health with your children is probably the most important discussion you can ever have.” He goes on to encourage parents who feel inadequate or uncomfortable discussing mental health with their children that “you are not alone. Be vulnerable enough to learn together with your child from safe, credible, and professional sources.”
When to Seek Help
While open conversations are a meaningful first step, sometimes professional support is needed. If your child seems persistently sad, anxious, or withdrawn, or is struggling at school or with friends, trust your instincts. Seeking an evaluation from a pediatrician, school counselor, or child psychologist is not an overreaction. The earlier mental health challenges are addressed, the better the outcomes.
Your mental health matters too. Reaching out to a mental health professional is courageous and one of the best things you can do for both yourself and your child.
References
Amen, D. G., & Fay, C. (2024). Raising Mentally Strong Kids. WordServe Literary Group.
This article is intended for general informational purposes. If you have concerns about your child’s mental health, please consult a licensed mental health professional.
