Someone once came up with this list of “The Commandments of Marriage.” Would you agree with these (or at least some of them)?
Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand — and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks, and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks, and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak, and the neighbors listen.
Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new, or the wife is.
Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish talking.
What a list!
Some marriages start out as ideal, then become an ordeal, and then someone is looking for a new deal. But the answer is not always to get a new marriage, but just to give our current marriage a tune-up – to service it, to work on it. For some, it may be minor adjustments; for others, a major overhaul.
Now, the apostle Paul, who God used to write the Scripture in Ephesians 5, tells us not only what God says we should do to have Christ-honoring marriages, but he also gives us the perfect illustration that we cannot miss.
With that in mind, you’ll see the word “as” several times in this passage. It is a simile – remember what that word means? It means in the same way. It’s a comparison.
Paul gives an illustration of the relationship between the Lord Jesus Christ and the church. He compares that to what the relationship between husbands and wives should be.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and is the saviour of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh; but he nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, “but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” “Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
Let’s apply this principle that Paul is teaching to our lives. I’ll start with me. What am I to do if I am going to be a Bible-based husband? Well, I am to be to my wife, Cathy, what Jesus is to the church. I am to give to Cathy what Jesus gives to the church.
You owe it to yourselves, your spouse, and to the Lord to enjoy the fruit of a bible-based marriage.
Below are some resources that CrossRoads offers free of charge that may help you give your marriage a “tune-up”.
- One of the bible-based sermons on our YouTube channel, such as this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ctvnb4ynBIo
- Trying out one of the adult small groups where you can get solid teaching and make godly friendships. Here is a list: https://crbible.com/mt-content/uploads/2026/03/2026-small-group-flyer-copy-4-2.png
- Seek free biblical counseling: Email counseling@crbible.com
- Plan on attending CrossRoads’ Family Conference scheduled for August 14-15.
