After years of working closely with clients during some of the most emotional chapters of their lives, there are a few truths I wish everyone knew before beginning the divorce process.
1. Emotions can be costly.
It’s completely normal to feel hurt or angry, but letting those emotions drive your decisions often leads to unnecessary legal fees and prolonged conflict. Taking a breath before reacting can save you time, money, and stress. It can also be beneficial to invest in a therapeutic outlet during this time.
2. If you wouldn’t want a judge to see it, don’t put it in writing.
Many people rely on text messages, email, or parenting apps as their primary form of communication with an ex during or after a divorce or separation. What they often forget is that these written messages can—and frequently do—end up in front of a judge. It’s common for parties to use communication records to show that the other person is unwilling or unable to communicate effectively or respectfully. Keep your communications succinct and courteous.
3. Preparation makes a huge difference.
Gathering financial documents and understanding your assets can significantly streamline the process and reduce costs. This will also greatly assist your attorney in strategizing your case.
4. Your children do not need to be involved in the divorce.
No matter how old your children are, the courts strongly prefer that they remain shielded from the conflict. Children should not be told details about the legal process, asked to take sides, or placed in the middle of adult issues.
5. Trusted guidance is key.
Find an attorney you trust. An experienced divorce lawyer sees the big picture, anticipates long-term consequences, and works to protect your future—even when emotions are high.
