‘There’s no place like home’. A place where one feels comfortable and where there have been countless memories made with those close to us. Unfortunately, we all grow older and our needs start to change with more difficulty getting around—needing more help with our activities of daily living (ADLs). Furthermore, the need for more activity and socialization. You know an Assisted Living move would be beneficial, but you also know there are many obstacles that lie ahead on that path.
Family members often struggle with how to talk to their loved one(s) about assisted living. It starts with empathy, respect, patience, and a bit of homework. Here are some suggestions for a compassionate approach that can help with the conversation.
1. Bring up the subject casually.
Moving to assisted living isn’t something someone generally decides in a day. It takes time to plant the seed, which is important to keep in mind as you consider how to talk with them.
For example, if you know of someone whose parents are enjoying an enhanced quality of life now that they are settled in assisted living, mention that when talking to your loved one(s). Or, if you see them struggling to keep up with home repairs, lawn maintenance, or other household concerns, it might be a good time to comment on how nice it would be if they could just leave all that behind and start enjoying life more—after all, they’ve earned it!
2. Approach it from a place of empathy.
Let them know you understand their concerns of not wanting to give up their freedom as well as control of their daily life, and that you care about their health and happiness and have their best interests in mind. Give them the opportunity to express any doubts or concerns they may have about moving to assisted living.
Sometimes simply getting the topic out there can reduce the worries and fears that your loved one(s) may have been harboring about making a major life change. It’s an important aspect of understanding how to talk to your loved one(s) about assisted living.
3. Be sure they understand what assisted living is and what it can offer them.
Knowing how to talk to your loved one(s) about assisted living means being sure to not assume they have a clear understanding of what it is. You might also be learning the facts yourself, especially if you haven’t had any previous need to acquaint yourself with what is available in modern assisted living.
One key thing to keep in mind is to be sure they understand that assisted living is NOT the same as a nursing home. Whereas skilled nursing is chiefly directed to those with serious health conditions in need of 24-hour care, assisted living is an opportunity to enjoy newfound freedom and opportunities for socializing, wellness, lifelong learning, and a strong sense of independence and belonging. Today’s assisted living communities offer an array of top-tier amenities and services that promote healthy aging and fulfillment.
4. Don’t get in a rush.
If your loved one(s) are still living successfully on their own, or if they seem a bit reluctant to approach the subject of moving to assisted living, then it’s best not to pressure them to make a decision. They will appreciate you showing them you respect who they are and that you have not forgotten they are the parents, and you are the adult child. Every family is different, and knowing how to talk to parents about assisted living means a lot of listening and understanding.
5. Do your homework beforehand.
You don’t have to become an expert on senior living by any means. However, if asked to suggest some specific options to explore, it could be very helpful to provide specific answers.
For example, do your own research on communities in your area. Check out their websites and reviews, ask friends and neighbors for any suggestions they might have based on personal experience, and even consider going on your own tour to get a close-up feel for the atmosphere and amenities. This could give you extra details that could help convince your parents to conduct their own search for the right choice. If they sound agreeable, offer to tour a few communities with them.
Get help from the experts when moving to Assisted Living. The staff in these communities have experienced many admissions in their time there – ask them for their advice, success stories, and how they approach a new resident moving to their community.
Aging is not easy for seniors and their loved ones. The transition to assisted living can be overwhelming but in time, everyone adapts to this change and can finally have that peace-of mind that they’ll be living a better quality of life in assisted living. You’ll learn the right time to make a move and how to handle the emotional and practical parts of this change. There’s no way to avoid this transition when it becomes necessary, so being prepared and planning ahead is key!
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