I read Mary Cain’s memoir “This is Not About Running” this summer. Mary Cain grew up in Bronxville, attended The Bronxville School up until about halfway through her high school education before turning professional as a world class runner and moving to Eugene, Oregon to train under the famed coach, Alberto Salazar. By the time she was in 8th grade, she was one of the fastest female runners in the country – of any age.
Candidly, the book is so salacious, it’s hard to put down. Throughout the first third of the book, she is extremely critical of Bronxville, of some her teammates, especially of some of her teammate’s parents and of her coach, Jim Mitchell (of whom the track is named after). I’ve never met Mary Cain, so please do not receive this as me picking sides on who is right and what is true.
I feel for Mary Cain and can’t imagine the emotional, mental, social and physical pressure she must have felt. I feel for the Seniors on the team who had to make room for a 7th grader who quickly assumed the spot of alpha runner. I feel for Coach Mitchell who I’m sure was doing his best manage a very complex situation that was fraught with conflict. It certainly is a very fascinating, sad and traumatic read.
We live in an increasingly sporty town. (And no, this is definitely NOT an article on lights in Bronxville. Although, I would love to have a civil conversation with you on said topic.) Youth sports organizations like the Bronxville Youth Lacrosse Association (BYLA), Bronxville Youth Basketball Association (BYBA) and Bronxville Youth Football have all experienced tremendous growth and engagement in the last few years. Our cross country and football teams have won state championships, and we recently added a Girl’s Flag Football Team to the mix. It’s a gift to have such athletic engagement in our small village. It’s something we all should feel a healthy dose of civic pride in.
But what’s the goal of it all? All the trips to Delaware for lacrosse tournaments. All of the private training sessions. All of weekends spent dividing and conquering between multiple kids and multiple sports. What’s the point? And do our kids want it, or do we want it for our kids?
Did you know that according to the NCAA, roughly 1.2% of high school girls will play Division I Lacrosse and .25% of High School boys will play Division I Basketball?! Now we’ve had some amazing Bronxville High School athletes compete at the very highest level, but that’s not the norm. Again, I wonder – what’s the goal? What’s the point of it all?
I’ve thought a lot about that question and have reflected on that with some close friends in town. For me, the goal is for my boys to have an amazing high school sports experience. When I look back on my life, some of my greatest memories were playing high school sports. My guess is that you can relate. The bus rides. The team dinners. The millions of laughs. That’s my hope for my boys.
I want sports to teach them about failure and determination and more failure – because that’s life. I want sports to teach them about teamwork and self-sacrifice. I want sports to teach them about grit, resilience and hard work that beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. For me, the journey is far more important than the destination. What do you think?
Broncos on me – Broncos on three – 1 – 2 – 3 – Broncos!
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