If you’re raising kids while also managing your parents’ doctor appointments, you’re not alone — and you’re not imagining how stretched you feel. Nearly half of adults between 40 and 59 are now part of what researchers call the “sandwich generation,” caught between caring for a child and caring for an aging parent at the same time. On average, these caregivers spend close to 24 hours a week coordinating or providing care on top of their own jobs and households. Financial strain follows close behind: sandwich generation caregivers are twice as likely to report money troubles as caregivers looking after only one generation, and more than half say they’ve had to pull back on their own retirement savings to keep everyone afloat.
For most families in this position, the conversation eventually turns to the house. Not because anyone wants to move — moving is one more thing on an already impossible list — but because the home itself has quietly become part of the problem. It’s too big for one aging parent to manage alone. It’s too small to absorb a parent who can no longer live independently. It’s full of stairs, or far from good schools, or sitting on equity that could fund years of care but is instead just sitting there.
This is where “rightsizing” comes in, and it’s worth understanding how it differs from the downsizing conversation most people expect.
Rightsizing Isn’t Always Smaller
Downsizing assumes the answer is less: less square footage, less upkeep, less house. Rightsizing asks a different question — what does this family actually need right now, and for the next several years? Sometimes that answer is smaller. Often, for sandwich generation families, it’s not.
Multigenerational living has moved from a niche arrangement to a mainstream strategy. According to the National Association of Realtors, 17% of home buyers purchased a multigenerational home in 2024 — a record high — and among Gen X buyers, the generation carrying most of the caregiving load, that number climbs even higher. Families are choosing homes with in-law suites, finished basements, or accessory dwelling units (ADUs) specifically so an aging parent can have privacy and independence while staying close enough for daily help.
It’s a practical response to two pressures at once: care for a parent who shouldn’t live alone, and housing costs that make it hard for adult children to launch out on their own.
Some families discover this the hard way. A parent downsizes into a condo expecting a simpler chapter, only to realize a year later that there’s no room for a grandchild to stay over, or nowhere for a parent-in-law to move in when their own health changes. They end up selling the “smaller” home and buying a larger one — not because they miscalculated, but because their first move only solved for the present moment instead of the next five years.
Three Rightsizing Paths Sandwich Generation Families Consider
Downsizing to free up capital and time. If your parents are still healthy but the family home has become a burden — the yard, the stairs, the maintenance — selling and moving into something smaller can release significant equity. That equity can fund in-home care, cover a more accessible home, or simply reduce the financial pressure that’s forcing you to choose between your kids’ needs and your parents’.
Upsizing or restructuring for multigenerational living. Bringing a parent into your household, or buying a home designed to support it, keeps caregiving logistics manageable and can actually save money compared to assisted living. The right layout matters enormously here: a main-floor bedroom and full bath, a separate entrance, or an ADU can preserve everyone’s independence and prevent caregiver burnout.
Modifying instead of moving. Sometimes rightsizing doesn’t mean a transaction at all — it means adding a ramp, converting a den into a first-floor bedroom, or building an ADU in the backyard. This is worth evaluating alongside a move, because the right answer isn’t always “sell.” A good agent can help you weigh the real cost of staying and modifying against the real cost — and real benefit — of moving.
Starting the Conversation
The hardest part of rightsizing usually isn’t the real estate. It’s the family conversation that has to happen first. A few things help:
Start before there’s a crisis. Families who wait for a fall, a diagnosis, or a financial emergency end up making rushed decisions under pressure. Starting the conversation early — even a year or two before it feels urgent — gives everyone more options and less panic.
Get a clear picture of the numbers. What is the current home worth? What would a smaller home, a multigenerational property, or in-home modifications actually cost? Equity locked in a home is often the single biggest resource a family has for funding care, and most people underestimate it until they see the numbers in front of them.
Think in years, not months. The right home for your family in 2026 may not be the right home in 2029. Rightsizing decisions hold up better when they account for where your parents’ health and your kids’ needs are likely headed, not just where things stand today.
Bring in someone who’s seen this before. This is a deeply emotional decision wrapped in a financial and logistical one, and it helps enormously to have someone in your corner who understands both sides — the caregiving reality and the real estate mechanics of making a move work.
You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone
If you’re part of the sandwich generation and the house has started to feel like one more thing you’re managing instead of a place that’s helping, it might be time to talk through your options. Whether that means downsizing to unlock equity, finding a home that fits multiple generations under one roof, or simply understanding what your current home is worth as part of the bigger financial picture, I’m happy to walk through it with you — no pressure, just information.
For sandwich generation families, the real barrier is rarely the decision itself — it’s finding the hours to sort through a lifetime of belongings, decide what stays, what goes, and what gets passed down, and then physically pack, coordinate movers, and prep a home for sale, all while still showing up for your kids and your parents. As a Senior Transition Specialist, this is where I step in and handle it in full. I bring in a trusted team of professionals — organizers, packers, estate sale specialists, and movers — who manage the room-by-room sorting, donations, and logistics from start to finish, while I oversee the entire timeline. Your family only has to make the decisions — not do the labor. My goal is to give you back the time this process would otherwise take from your family.
I also host webinars and lunch-and-learns on rightsizing, downsizing, and navigating the sandwich generation years — reach out if you’d like to attend, or to bring one to your community group or organization.
Lori Eipel is a real estate agent and Senior Transition Specialist helping families navigate life- stage moves, from first homes to multigenerational transitions. Reach her at lori@homesbylorieipel.com or 908-347-3801.
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