Some people wait for life to tell them what to do.
Deb Dekoff does not.
When life has handed her an unexpected diagnosis, a cross-country move she didn’t want, or a future that suddenly looked nothing like the one she had planned, Deb has done the same thing every time:
She figured it out.
Not because she always knew what was coming. Not because she had the resources, the money, or even the know-how to make the change. But because somewhere along the way, Deb learned that life-defining moments aren’t always about what happens to you. They are about what you decide to do next.
Credit: Deb DeKoff & Dana Klein
Lightning-bolt moments.
We all have them. Some change us. Some break us. And some, if we are willing to move through them, become the very moments that create the life we were meant to live.
Deb has had more than her share.
And every single time, she chose to move forward.
Deb was born in New Jersey and moved to Florida when she was 10 years old. A hardworking student, naturally gifted with an incredible work ethic and God-given intelligence, she graduated early and had plans to attend Florida State University (FSU) but ended up at the University of South Florida (USF).
The first major defining moment for Deb came when she was diligently filling out her college application at the family dining table. Her mom curiously looked over her shoulder and asked what she was doing.
“I’m filling out my application to FSU.”
“Why?” her mother replied. “We don’t have the money to send you to college!”
Deb’s breath caught in her throat, and she froze.
The question of whether her parents had money to send her to college had never entered her mind. Deb read books, went to summer school for fun because she was bored, and always knew she would go to college. Her ambitious drive for a better life kept her working hard and focused.
Her mother saw that and, in passing, would comment, “Keep working hard like that and someday, you can go to college!” But she never said she would send her to college.
Lightning-bolt moment number one.
As a stunned 17-year-old, Deb didn’t mourn her unmet expectations. She immediately moved into action. She would graduate high school early and go to cosmetology school, which cost far less than a four-year university, and to pay for that, she chose to work at local boutiques. Once she earned more by working in cosmetology, she would then pay for college. Deb began community college at the same time her friends began their university life miles away.
After years of simultaneously working in hair, starting a photography business, and earning scholarships from local women’s business organizations, Deb transferred to the University of South Florida, met and married the love of her life, Bill, and earned a degree in elementary education making her a first-generation college graduate. She later received a master’s degree from Nova Southeastern. and got the district job of her dreams.
Life was so good.
And then, the call came.
Bill was being transferred to Utah.
Lightning-bolt moment number two.
Utah?
Credit: Deb DeKoff & Dana Klein
Deb didn’t want to move to Utah. She had a soul-driven purpose as a Health Education Resource teacher, creating a K-12 anti-drug/anti-tobacco program for the entire district to get the kids she taught off drugs and on to a career path that would take them out of the dangerous neighborhoods some of them lived in—away from the familial cycle of poverty and into a life more aligned with their individual talents. Because they all were talented in some way.
They were resourceful. They knew how to survive, much like Deb did.
And now her life needed to change.
“It was truly hard going from a position that I loved, because I wasn’t just impacting one school and one classroom at a time. I had a third of the Broward County district that two other educators and I were creating programs for.”
Leaving Florida was a gut punch for Deb, but she looked optimistically toward what a new future in Utah could hold for her and her young family.
In the cold winter month of February 1999, Deb, Bill, and their two young sons took up residence in Park City. Deb knew she would need to create community and friendships within the education space if she was to get a teaching position in this small ski town. So she relied heavily on her artistic side, wrote (and photographed) for a local newspaper, and substitute-taught for the school district to attract the attention of administrators.
And it worked!
Deb was offered a teaching position in the fall of 1999 and has spent nearly 30 years working in different schools across a variety of subjects.
Life was good.
Until lightning-bolt number three: an unexpected breast cancer diagnosis.
What started as a normal health checkup ended with a concerned look from her provider, a lumpectomy merely weeks later, and an immediate plunge into a course of chemotherapy right as she was to begin guiding Park City youth through another year of education.
“I learned so much from my cancer diagnosis. There were so many people willing to help me, so I was honored to start a support group to support other families who received their own diagnosis,” Deb recalls.
As a serial entrepreneur, starting and running multiple businesses from studio photography to cosmetology (a license she still holds today), to property management and volunteering as a research advocate at Huntsman, the theme is the same: Deb does.
She loves learning and has always believed that the way out of any circumstance you don’t want to be in is through education.
Read books. Take challenging classes and gain marketable skills at the local community college. Get another degree. Listen to podcasts. Attend lectures. Never stop learning!
“I taught myself how to play the guitar at seven. I would listen to the tune and then play it. I’m finally taking piano lessons to learn how to actually read music,” Deb tells me with a laugh.
“How do you do it all?” I ask.
While raising two sons with a husband who was a federal agent—not exactly a 9-to-5 desk job—and pursuing side-quest businesses alongside a full-time teaching career for more than 40 years, she shares, “I don’t cook and I don’t watch TV!”
The answer was serious, albeit hilariously obvious.
Translation: I don’t waste any time on things that don’t add depth and enrichment to my life.
Now retired, Bill has taken up watchmaking to fill his time while continuing to support Deb’s teaching career, advocacy work, growing photography business, and in-home piano recitals—with an audience of one: Bill.
Despite recently undergoing vision surgery—a minor setback, as Deb describes it—she looks toward the future with even more optimism and clarity. Age is only a number, and time is a gift.
Do it like Deb.
If your soul propels you to it, do it all!
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