You cannot pour from an empty cup.
Few roles are more emotionally complex and deeply personal than becoming the caregiver for your parent.
Navigating care for an aging parent can come with a deep and persistent sense of guilt. The guilt of feeling like you are never doing enough. The guilt of missing a phone call, taking a few hours for yourself, living in another city or simply the guilt of feeling overwhelmed, frustrated or exhausted.
At the heart of this guilt is love.
For many local families, one of the heaviest emotions is realizing they cannot do it alone anymore. That internal voice likes to try and convince you that you’re not doing enough, not living up to (unrealistic) expectations and that you’re letting people down
Hundreds of our Lake Norman-area neighbors are navigating caring for aging parents while also raising children, contributing to our community and maintaining their own health and well-being.
They are “the sandwich generation.”
A wonderful 82-year-old veteran we care for in The Point has an adult daughter who has built a customized care schedule. This allows Dad to remain safe, engaged and at home, while the daughter can still contribute and meaningfully serve our local community.
This solution began when the daughter asked for help.
Guilt intensifies when parents begin to lose independence or resist help. Adult children are forced into impossible and time-sensitive decisions which include stepping into difficult financial and medical responsibilities. We can also be left with the emotional burden of feeling rejected, criticized or misunderstood by the very person they are trying to help. These are significant role reversals that no family is truly emotionally prepared to handle.
Choosing support is not abandoning your parents or your responsibilities. It is one of the most loving decisions you can make.
Consider the adult son who moved his elderly father into his family home in Cornelius. Upon his direction, our team helped build a care schedule which works for everyone. Most importantly, it allows Dad to receive quality care at home. Now, Dad is happy as he “does not want to be a burden.” And, his son now has both the support and space which allows him to find a sustainable life balance and contribute to our community,
This solution began when the son asked for help.
Care can also look like household management. Consider the local mom living in the Farms with her young family and a husband who travels and works long hours outside the home. She now has tangible support so she can focus on her children, health and marriage while we manage the behind-the-scenes errands and logistics to ensure more of her energy flows to where it is most needed.
This solution began when the young lady asked for help.
The impact of courage in these examples cannot be understated. Caregiving is not a test of how much suffering one person can endure.
It is an act of love.
Love was never meant to be carried entirely by yourself.
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