“Am I Autistic?” And Other Questions We Ask About Ourselves

As awareness of autism, and other mental health conditions, increases, many people are asking just these kinds of questions. About themselves, their partner, or their child. They’ve noticed their husband’s quirky interest, nearing obsession, with Legos, model train sets, or memorizing certain facts. Or their child differences from their peers, or particularity about the texture of foods they’ll eat or clothes they’ll wear. Or maybe you’ve been reflecting on how you’ve always felt bit socially awkward and “faked it” to fit in and be seen as “normal”.

Although any of these traits could be part of an autistic person’s presentation, none in isolation would meet the criteria for a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder. And yet, there is a real value in these reflections and the conversations that follow as they give us an opportunity to understand some of the more universal human experiences that people have.

Just as although everyone feels sad from time to time, or can feel nervous or fret about something, it does not necessarily mean we have depression or an anxiety disorder. Similarly, people can be forgetful or disorganized without having ADHD. That’s because our capacity to attend to details, stay organized, or remember appointments falls within a range of human capacity. Do these “symptoms” mean we have a diagnosable and treatable psychiatric condition? Maybe, but maybe not. Only an evaluation with a qualified professional can say for sure.

It’s for this reason I find that although labels can be helpful, they can also often be overrated, especially when they get in the way of truly seeing each other. Many people now use the term “PTSD” colloquially to describe their very normal response to a stressful or traumatic experience. After a bad car accident, folks might find they become vigilant backseat drivers or started having dreams involving car accidents. Either could be symptoms of PTSD, but in many cases people just use the term convey, “I had a bad experience” and “now I fear a similar thing could happen again.” Such as “I have PTSD from my washing machine flooding the basement”. All of us are wired to have these reactions to upsetting or stressful events.

Some people rail at the growing popularity of clinical terms in everyday use. I understand their perspective. Diagnosis creep is a valid concern. With it can come a reduction in resources and services for folks who need them most. And people struggling with actual PTSD may feel dismissed when others use the term lightly. But at the same time, the use of these terms also reflects a growing awareness of mental health issues and broader neurodiversity in our society. I hope this awareness grows greater compassion and support for people who need it, whether that be in home, school, or work settings.

Accommodations for specific groups often generalize to benefits for others. This has been the case with curb cuts, which were originally designed for people in wheelchairs, but are now widely used for strollers and wheeled luggage. Moreover, neither my husband nor I have a diagnosable hearing loss, yet closed captioning has been increasingly helpful as we age.

At Kentlands Psychotherapy we don’t need a client to have a label to receive services. For example, we help people with their executive functioning, meaning the skills we all use to manage everyday tasks such as making plans, solving problems, and adapting to new situations, including by managing our emotions. Similarly, we support people who are feeling down or stressed. Sometimes that rises to a full diagnosis, sometimes not. The good news is that the strategies that psychologists have developed to help people with Depression, Generalized Anxiety, ADHD, Autism, or PTSD could likely help you too, if you’re having any of these experiences. If you or someone you know could benefit from expert support, call us. We’d like to help.