Q: My child is sad when they start school. Does that mean they aren’t ready or something is wrong?
A: Oh goodness, no. Every parent has had that moment driving to school thinking, “Have I made a huge mistake?” You haven’t.
Feeling unsure about new places and people is a normal stage of development. Babies start out happy to be passed around at the family barbecue, but before long they reach the “stranger danger” stage and only want their main person. Preschool or other new places in the early years can bring a bit of this back.
Tears when children start school are common and short-lived. In my experience, it takes about six days for children to adjust. Honestly, it would probably be fewer—but the weekend tends to restart the process a bit.
Even after children adjust, you may see little blips—after illness, vacations, when grandma visits, or when a parent travels. That’s normal. Anxiety is part of development, and our job is to help children learn to move through it productively.
When I was two, my tears convinced my mom to skip preschool drop-off and take me to Shoney’s instead. One morning I told her, “Mama, I’m not gonna do that stuff to you anymore.” She knew exactly what I meant—and the drop-off tears ended. Shoney’s felt like what I wanted, but we mostly just sat there waiting to try again. If we’d gone straight to school, I would have already been happily playing. Let us be a lesson to you.
With routine, reassurance, and positivity, that moment comes for every child. In six years at Auburn Day School, we’ve never had a child who didn’t adjust.
Q: I feel like I’m constantly entertaining my child. I’m exhausted.
A: It’s easy to fall into the habit of filling every moment with activities, especially when we want to keep children happy and engaged.
But children don’t need constant entertainment. In fact, boredom is often where creativity begins.
Try simple, open-ended materials you already have—plastic cups, scoops and water, cardboard boxes and tape, blocks, dress-up clothes—and then step back. Sit down, read, finish your coffee. Let your child figure things out.
Children learn how to regulate themselves and enjoy their own ideas when adults don’t fill every moment.
And honestly? Their ideas are usually more interesting than anything we could plan.
