As August unfolds, many parents find themselves holding two seasons at once. One hand still reaches for summer—late bedtimes, beach days, slower mornings. The other is already packing lunches and wondering how their child will manage a new teacher, a new classroom, or a new school. We often talk about back-to-school as a transition for children. But parents are moving through one too.
As a therapist who works with moms, I see this every year: the return to school can bring excitement, relief, sadness, anxiety, and guilt all at once. Many parents wonder whether their child is ready. Others wonder whether they’re ready to let go of the summer they worked so hard to create.
Growing up, my life revolved around the water. My Zaidi had a boat. My parents always had a boat. My siblings and I spent summers at sailing camp through the Barrie Yacht Club. As a young adult, my free time was filled with dragon boat racing, coaching, and paddleboarding. Now, my husband and I look forward to our time in Georgian Bay with our daughters and my dad, and watching them learn to waterski from our own boat.
It’s funny how the things our parents gave us—traditions, memories, and even ways of seeing the world—live on as we pass them along to our own children. Looking back now—as both a mom and a therapist for moms—I see a lesson in those summers about what children need during times of change.
Children are meant to venture out into the world. New classrooms, friendships, and teachers are all part of their journey. Our role isn’t to keep them tied to the dock. It’s to be the dock.
This is the heart of the Circle of Security: children need a secure base from which to explore and a safe haven to return to when life feels overwhelming. They don’t need us to remove every wave from the water. They need to know we’re still there—bigger, stronger, wiser, and kind—as they learn to navigate them. So if your child is nervous about September, resist the urge to fix it. Get curious instead.
“What feels hardest about that?”
“What are you hoping will happen?”
“What are you worried might happen?”
Sometimes being understood matters more than being reassured. Our job isn’t to remove the feeling, but to help organize it—to stay close while they make sense of it.
This is especially true at big milestones: starting kindergarten, moving to middle school, entering high school, or changing schools. These moments stir up big emotions for everyone. Because sometimes the hardest transition isn’t our child’s—it’s ours.
We send a child to kindergarten and wonder where the years went. We celebrate a teenager’s independence while quietly grieving how much they no longer need us. We drop a child off at a new school while carrying our own hopes, worries, and what-ifs. Children aren’t the only ones adjusting in September. Parents are, too.
Every family has chapters. Some are joyful, some challenging, most a little of both.
As summer gives way to September, remember that your child’s story is still unfolding—and so is yours. You don’t have to navigate every transition perfectly. You simply need to remain a place of safety, connection, and belonging.
The dock doesn’t stop the waves. It simply stays steady enough for someone to find their way back when they need it most.
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