In the race to prepare teenagers for what comes next, a reminder to appreciate who they are right now.
Every fall I watch a fresh group of parents start doing math in their heads. How many APs. What the GPA needs to be. Whether this is the year the résumé should start taking shape. I understand it completely. It all comes from love. But I also like to gently remind families of something we hold dear here: the work of parenting and educating adolescents is ultimately about forming a person, not building a résumé. And that person is already worthy of our delight—right now, today—not simply because of who they may become or where they may one day be admitted.
As a college-prep school, we think about academic rigor and preparation every day. We also think a great deal about what rigor is for. The goal isn’t just a shinier application. It’s to send off a young adult who can think critically, work hard, laugh easily, serve their neighbor, and know their own worth apart from any grade.
So here’s what I tell our families. Ask your teenager the questions that don’t fit on a form. Not just what are you taking, but what are you curious about? Who did you help this week? What made you laugh today? Kids rise to the questions we ask them. If every conversation is about performance, they learn they are a performance. If some are about purpose and joy, they learn they were created for so much more.
And trust the community around your child. One of the biggest blessings of Holy Family is that your teenager is surrounded by adults — teachers, coaches, counselors, parents, and yes, a fairly jolly principal — who know them, believe in them, and are cheering them on. We are your family’s village.
College will come, in its good time. But the years before it aren’t merely a runway to it. They are their own wonderful, formative, gloriously ordinary season. Prepare your teenager well. Just don’t forget to enjoy them while you do.
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