You fell in love with the house. You’ve gotta have it. You’re putting together your offer and decide to write a letter to the owners about how much you love their home and can imagine your future there, hoping it tips the scales a little if you’re competing with another buyer. Should you?
While it is a business transaction, people buy and sell real estate with a lot of emotion. Buyers are imagining the life they could have in a home, while sellers may be letting go of a place that holds years of memories. That emotion is what makes a love letter so powerful, and also what makes it complicated.
When I’m representing a buyer, I say go for it. You’re doing everything you can to secure a home you’ve fallen in love with, and if a letter makes the seller connect with you and helps your offer win, great. But don’t expect a love letter to overcome less-than-desirable terms. You still need to put your best foot forward when it comes to price, financing, timeline, contingencies, and all the other pieces of the offer, especially if you’re competing. The letter is an extra, not the strategy. And it might not even make it to the seller at all.
Because on the seller’s side, it’s a completely different story. Sellers have to be careful about why they choose one offer over another. A love letter can reveal personal information about a buyer that relates to Fair Housing protections, particularly when buyers start sharing details about their family, religion, background, or even include a photo. Something written with the best intentions can put the seller, and their agent, in a precarious position.
So, when I’m representing a seller and love letters start coming in, I typically tell my clients we’ve received them, but I prefer not to share them until they’ve chosen an offer based on the actual terms.
Then, if they’d like, I can share the letter that accompanied the offer they selected. It lets them make the business decision first and enjoy the warm and fuzzy part afterward.
Of course, sometimes real estate gets messy. I recently had a multiple-offer situation where an agent included the buyer’s love letter directly in the PDF package with the offer itself. I wasn’t going to alter another agent’s documents, so the letter had to be presented. Since one got through, I shared the others we had received as well, while reminding my sellers what should, and shouldn’t, factor into their decision.
They handled it exactly as I hoped they would. They looked at all the pieces of each offer, including the terms and how comfortable they were with each buyer’s ability to close, and chose the offer that made the most sense.
There are plenty of opinions in real estate about love letters, and agents handle them differently. My approach is pretty simple: If I’m representing you as a buyer, put your best offer forward and, when appropriate, tell your story. If I’m representing you as a seller, we’re going to be a little more careful.
Real estate is emotional. It’s personal. Navigating it well means making room for those feelings while keeping the transaction grounded in the things that matter. The key is finding the right balance.
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