With the holidays approaching, families often look forward to familiar traditions and time together. But when divorce is still fresh, the season can feel very different. Traditions may change, and parents may face difficult decisions about where children will spend each holiday. With planning and the right mindset, families can make the transition easier for everyone, especially the kids.
Keep Traditions Where You Can
This has likely already been a year of change for your children. Maintaining some familiar holiday traditions can provide comfort and consistency.
Perhaps the kids can still spend Christmas with their paternal grandparents or Thanksgiving with the same cousins. Traditions like seeing holiday lights, baking cookies or watching a favorite movie can often continue, even if they happen on a different day or with one parent at a time.
Keeping some things familiar can help children feel a sense of normalcy amid significant changes.
Keep Adult Emotions With the Adults
Spending a holiday apart from your children can bring sadness, anger or loneliness. While those feelings are understandable, try not to place that emotional burden on your children.
Comments such as “I’m going to miss you so much” can unintentionally make children feel guilty about enjoying time with their other parent. Instead, encourage them: “I know you’re going to have fun at Dad’s,” or “I heard Mom has something special planned for Christmas Eve.”
When emotions feel overwhelming, turn to trusted friends, family members or a therapist for support.
Create New Traditions
Not every old tradition will fit your new parenting schedule, and that’s okay. When everyone is ready, new traditions can give children something special to anticipate.
Maybe Christmas Eve becomes cookie-baking night with Mom while Christmas Day includes dinner with Dad’s family. Decorating a new home or creating a special holiday outing can also become meaningful traditions.
The holidays after divorce don’t have to be defined by what has been lost. With flexibility and thoughtful co-parenting, families can create a new “normal” filled with memories of its own.
Seek Legal Guidance
Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., provides guidance to divorced (or divorcing) parents. Whether you need help addressing holiday schedules in a parenting plan or modifying an existing custody arrangement, contact the firm to discuss your options. To schedule a confidential consultation, call 215-752-6200 or visit UlmerLaw.com.
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