Holidays come with nostalgia for so many of us, but I also believe it is a universal feeling of stress when you are the grown-up responsible for the holiday magic. Holidays also have some of the highest rates of relapse for eating disorders. I wanted to share some tips for those worried about increased obligations, socializing, and food-centered activities around the holidays.
You do not have to say yes to every event/party/child’s activity.
It is perfectly fine to be selective about what activities and events you’re choosing to put your energy into. Trying to jam all the Christmas magic into a weekend will overwhelm the adults and more than likely leave the whole family in a sour mood. Pick the most important things to you and spread them out over 4-6 weeks: drive around and look at Christmas lights, hot chocolate and movies, baking goodies, family parties. Trust me, we’re not all out here buying hundreds of dollars’ worth of matching pajamas and doing photoshoots.
Feeling overwhelmed about food-centered activities
Holidays can lead to stress about food-intake and body image. If you’re worried about options to eat at a party, make a dish you know you’ll eat and bring it with you so that way there is something safe for you to eat there. If any family members make comments about body changes, you can redirect that gently. ‘Oh, diets are boring. Let me tell you about my new job.’ I find most people are not making uncomfortable comments out of malice, they’re trying to connect.
Manage Expectations
Kids do kid things (want to do impulsive things, sad when we can’t have ice cream, etc.). Adults set the tone of events. The best example I have of that are family photos. The mom may schedule the photos, plan the location, and pick the outfits, but the dad sets the tone of that photoshoot. If dad is a complainer or a sigher, the kids pick it up, and they start doing the same. My husband and I try to manage expectations with each other, like on heavy travel days when we’re both tired and moody. We make our best effort to agree on the most important priorities, and how we will take care of ourselves and each other later.
Holidays come with a lot of pressure about things being perfect. To change this mindset there needs to be a conscious effort to think about the impact of social media and over-consumption of material items. Recognizing your values and beliefs around the holidays and intentionally putting those at the forefront will make for a more meaningful experience.
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