Every family seems to have its own way of celebrating Thanksgiving. There are recipes handed down through generations, dishes that absolutely must be on the table, and traditions everyone follows even if no one quite remembers how they started.
Some families gather early to watch the parade. Others spend the morning preparing dinner, watching football, or figuring out how to fit one more dish into the oven. And there’s usually someone who insists Thanksgiving wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a particular recipe. It’s funny how attached we become to these familiar routines.
I’ve been thinking about that lately, and about how our Thanksgiving traditions change as our lives change. When we’re young, we often take those traditions for granted. We show up, enjoy the meal, and assume the familiar faces and routines will always be there.
Then, somewhere along the way, things begin to shift.
Children grow up. Families move. Someone gets married and brings new traditions into the family. The person who always hosted Thanksgiving decides it’s time to pass that responsibility along. And sometimes, the people who made those gatherings so memorable are no longer with us.
The holidays remind us how much life changes, even when we’re doing something we’ve done for years. Many of us can probably remember a Thanksgiving from childhood. Perhaps it was at a grandparent’s house, with cousins running around and adults gathered in the kitchen. Or maybe it was a smaller celebration with just a few people and a meal everyone looked forward to.
What stands out in those memories?
We might remember a favorite dish or a particular tradition. But I suspect many of our fondest memories have more to do with the people who were there. The relative who made everyone laugh. The person who welcomed anyone who needed a place to go. The familiar conversations that somehow never grew old.
Sometimes it’s the little things we remember most. Helping prepare a meal. Sitting around the table long after everyone has finished eating. Taking a walk before dessert. Or laughing about something that happened years ago, even though everyone knows the story. None of those moments is particularly extraordinary. Yet they’re often the ones we remember.
Of course, Thanksgiving doesn’t look the same for everyone. Some celebrate with large families, others with a few close friends. Some enjoy a quiet day at home. Others volunteer, travel, or spend the holiday working. And for those missing someone this year, familiar traditions can bring both comfort and sadness.
One of the things I appreciate about Thanksgiving is that it gives us a reason to make time for one another. During the rest of the year, it’s easy to let weeks or months pass while we promise ourselves we’ll get together soon.
Thanksgiving puts a date on the calendar. We make plans, prepare food, pull out extra chairs, and find time to catch up. Even when the day doesn’t go exactly as planned, there’s something good about simply being together.
And perhaps that’s worth remembering when the day gets busy. Not everyone needs another helping of food or another story. Sometimes what someone needs most is a little attention, a chance to be heard, or simply the feeling that we’re glad they’re there.
As our lives change, perhaps our traditions should be allowed to change, too. We can hold on to the things we love while making room for new people, new recipes, and new ways of celebrating. After all, many traditions we treasure today began because someone decided to try something different.
This Thanksgiving, I hope you’ll enjoy whatever traditions make the day special for you. And perhaps you’ll notice the small moments that are easy to overlook while everyone is busy preparing, serving, and cleaning up.
Years from now, someone may remember Thanksgiving at your house. They might remember a favorite dish or a family tradition. But I hope what they’ll remember most is how good it felt to be there.
Room to Reflect
What Thanksgiving traditions mean the most to you, and what memories or people make them special?
Visit SpiritRisingCoaching.com/reflect for this month’s five-minute guided reflection.
About the Author
Michael Shoultz, PhD, is a Human Potential Architect and founder of Spirit Rising Coaching. Through his writing, workshops, and coaching, he helps people better understand themselves, navigate life’s transitions, and make more intentional choices about how they live and lead.
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