The Return of Multigenerational Living

For most of American history, the house with three generations in it was not a trend. It was just the house.

Grandparents lived upstairs or in the back bedroom. An unmarried aunt had a room off the kitchen. Out in the county, the farm had a main house and a smaller one near it for whoever needed it that decade. In 1950, roughly 21 percent of Americans lived in a multigenerational household. Then the country changed. Cheap mortgages, the interstate system, and brand-new suburbs made it possible for every couple to have a place of their own, and by 1980 that share had fallen to 12 percent.

It has been climbing back ever since. By 2021, about 60 million Americans, or 18 percent of the country, were living with two or more adult generations under one roof, according to Pew Research. Nationally, roughly one in seven home buyers now purchase with more than one generation in mind.

The interesting part is not that it is happening. It is why.

THE WHY

Money, mostly, though not in the way people assume.

Pew found that about 40 percent of adults in these households point to financial reasons as a major factor. But this is not simply struggling families doubling up. Baby boomers hold close to $19 trillion in home equity, nearly 40 percent of all residential real estate value in the country. Many of them are sitting in a paid-off house, watching their adult children try to buy into a market where rates and prices have both been unkind. Selling and rolling that equity into one larger property, or into a second structure on a child’s land, solves a problem on both ends of the family.

Then there is the cost of care, which is squeezing people at the beginning of life and at the end of it.

Infant care in a North Carolina center now averages more than $12,000 a year, which is more than in-state tuition at UNC Chapel Hill. If a grandparent lives on the property, that expense can largely disappear, and so can the scramble every time a daycare closes or a kid gets sick.

Elder care is heavier still. The median cost of assisted living in North Carolina runs about $6,300 a month. An in-home aide is close to $5,700. Families run those numbers, look at a spare bedroom or an unused corner of the lot, and the math starts making the decision for them.

Underneath all of it is the plain arithmetic of a shared household. One mortgage instead of two. One tax bill, one insurance policy, one roof to replace eventually. For a lot of families right now, this is the only version of homeownership that actually pencils.

THE HOW

The simplest version costs nothing extra if you plan for it at purchase. I have had buyers tell me the only non-negotiable on their list was a bedroom and full bath on the main floor, because they knew a parent was coming at some point. That is the cheapest form of future proofing there is, and it tends to help you at resale rather than hurt you.

The next step up is an accessory dwelling unit, or ADU. That is a second, smaller, complete living space on the same property, with its own kitchen, bath, and entrance. Attached versions use what you already have, a finished basement with a private door, a bonus room over the garage, an addition off the back. Detached versions are the ones people picture, the granny flat, the cottage, the converted outbuilding sitting a hundred feet from the main house.

This is where I have to slow people down, because the assumption that land equals flexibility is where expensive surprises live.

Buying a four-bedroom house on five acres does not mean you can add a second dwelling. In the county, your septic system was permitted for a specific number of bedrooms, and that permit is the ceiling. Add a unit and you are often looking at a new or expanded system, which means a new soil evaluation and finding ground that will actually support a drainfield. The county also requires you to set aside a repair area, essentially a backup drainfield held in reserve, so you need good soil twice over.

Five acres sounds like plenty until you subtract the slope, the rock, the wet spots, the setbacks from the well, the stream, and the property lines. What you have left is usable soil, and usable soil is the number that matters. I have watched buyers fall in love with acreage that could not support one more bedroom, let alone a second house.

Public sewers take that particular issue off the table, but setbacks do not care what you are connected to. A detached unit must sit a minimum distance from your property lines, from the primary house, and frequently from the well and drainfield too. On a tighter lot those buffers overlap until there is almost nowhere legal left to put anything, and size caps, height limits, and parking requirements can narrow it further.

The encouraging news is that the rules have been moving in the right direction. Both Orange County and the Town of Hillsborough have relaxed their accessory dwelling requirements in recent years, which has turned what used to be a difficult approval into something far more achievable for the average homeowner. It is still worth confirming the specifics for your parcel before you count on it.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Multigenerational living is not a step backward. For most of our history it was simply how families built wealth, raised children, and cared for their parents. We spent about thirty years treating it as a last resort, and the numbers are pulling us back.

If this is on your mind, whether you are shopping for a property with it in view or looking at your own lot and wondering, talking to a Realtor who understands these complexities is imperative. The right house on the wrong land is an expensive lesson, and it is entirely avoidable.

For more information, contact Noah in Hillsborough at 919.283.8581, HowardHannaTate.com.