If you have a newborn, you’re probably exhausted. Your baby may be waking constantly. You might wonder, “Is my baby okay? Am I doing something wrong?”
Here’s the good news: nothing is wrong. Your baby is doing exactly what they are supposed to do. I’ve been there with both of my children, and now I help families through these early weeks. Let me share what really helps.
Newborns aren’t made to sleep all night
Newborns wake up a lot because:
- Their tummies are tiny, so they get hungry fast.
- Their brains are growing.
- Their body clock is developing.
When babies are born, they can’t tell day from night. Most babies begin to have more predictable sleep around 4 months when their body starts making a sleepy hormone called melatonin. Before that, they wake, eat, and sleep around the clock.
Feed well during the day
When babies eat well during the day, they often sleep better at night. Here’s a plan that can help:
- Feed often during the day, every 2-3 hours.
- Embrace the evening “cluster feed”—eating frequently without breaks. This is normal and helps your baby fill up.
- Give a full feed before bedtime.
This helps your baby get enough daytime calories so they may sleep longer overnight. In the early weeks your doctor may ask you to wake your baby for feedings until they return to their birth weight.
Every baby is different
Some babies are easy going. Others are wakeful and sensitive. This is called temperament and your baby was born with it. You may have a baby who needs more help to settle and that’s okay.
Keep sleep safe
No matter how sleep is going, these rules protect your baby:
- Always put your baby on their back to sleep.
- Use a firm, flat sleep space, like a crib or bassinet.
- Keep the baby’s bed free of pillows, blankets, or stuffed animals.
- Swaddle your newborn for sleep. Stop swaddling once they try to roll over.
Try a rhythm
Newborns don’t need a strict schedule; a simple rhythm works. During the daytime try this pattern:
Feed → awake/play time → sleep.
Newborn wake times are short, often 30 to 60 minutes. That’s enough time to eat, have a diaper change, enjoy play time, and then they’re ready for sleep. Overnight, keep things calm and boring on purpose. When your baby wakes, feed them, change them, and put them right back to sleep. This pattern helps your baby learn that night is for sleeping.
Simple things to remember
Newborn sleep is messy, and waking up a lot is normal. In the first few months your baby is still learning day from night. You don’t need a perfect schedule. Feed your baby, keep sleep safe, answer their needs, and take care of yourself. Most babies sleep longer as they grow. Every baby is different, and that’s okay. This hard, beautiful season will pass.
Shakila Marando is the founder of DOULAS by the BAY, which she established in 2009. Today, the company employs more than 90 birth and postpartum doulas serving families throughout Northern and Southern California. This article is for educational purposes and does not replace advice from your pediatrician or doctor.
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